Masochistic Mommy

Failing at breastfeeding can often turn usually compassionate and courteous family members into bitter, green-eyed saboteurs. When a headstrong member of the group ruptures the status quo by successfully breastfeeding, the rest of the kin can close ranks on her. Her success makes them look bad. This is the story of Marcia, a South African currently residing with her husband and their two children in France. Thousands of miles away from her native country and her own supportive family, Marcia faced an array breastfeeding hurdles which she overcame under the watchful resentment of her in-laws: Marcia. “ I am a South African currently residing with my husband and our 2 children in France. I’m the mother of 2 beautiful children: a boy of 4 years and a girl of 18 months old. My Wise Mother Although my mother breastfed all her children, which added up to 8 years of her life in total, it never occurred to me as something I would do.  I did not want to end up looking like her with a child...

Pacifiers and nipple shields have a bad rap, and rightly so . However if used sparingly, and no earlier than 4 weeks, they can act as transitory crutches, enabling mothers to breastfeed for longer. In fact, if a mother is set on using interventions, then pacifiers and nipple shields are more compatible with breastfeeding than formula top ups. This week’s triumphant mom found breastfeeding to be a turbulent journey. When a bad latch led to severe nipple damage, she hesitantly introduced a pacifier and nipple shield to provide temporary respite from the pain. “ My pregnancy was problem-free.  I travelled, I studied, I worked, I rested as I needed and took a pregnancy multi-vitamin.  My due date according to last menstruation (and a clockwork 28 day cycle) was February 9th.  The 12 week ultrasound said 14th February.   I did not put on any weight during my pregnancy (which given my high BMI, was never an issue) and I ‘passed’ all the tests with flying colours.  M...

Whilst indulging my inner bookworm at the local city library, I unwittingly stumbled upon a book written by a man called Geert Hofstede. Hofstede is an influential Dutch researcher well-known (in the social-psychology clique at least) for his research of cross-cultural groups and organizations. He played a major role in developing a framework for assessing and differentiating national cultures. Reading his jaw-dropping, hugely under-utilised trove of research has radically deepened my understanding of why we suck at breastfeeding in our society. It triggered an epiphany of sorts. And his book wasn’t even about breastfeeding! I have always known that our culture is hostile towards breastfeeding at worst, and apathetic at best. Who’s to blame for this? I had all the usual suspects lined up: capitalism, the patriarchy, rampant individualism, formula company greed. However maybe the net of blame is far, far broader than I ever imagined. Hofstede’s research revealed an interesting phenomeno...

Whilst most health professionals believe that ‘breast is best’, very few are trained in breastfeeding or lactation; fewer still have successful breastfeeding experience of their own. So it’s hardly surprising that a lot of health professionals sometimes inadvertently, sometimes even intentionally, sabotage mothers, preventing them from actualizing their breastfeeding goals. I discussed the reasons behind this phenomenon here . Suffice to say the impact on breastfeeding rates has been destructive. It seems, where health professionals are concerned, mothers in their droves are imprudently deferring to their alleged expertise. The casualties of this approach are, of course, their babies. However what follows is the story of one woman who would now bow to the ‘professionals’. She was subjected to a group of health professionals that orchestrated not one, not two, but FIVE attempts to sabotage her breastfeeding success: “ The plan was to breastfeed. Period. I didn't know much about it ...