Masochistic Mommy

Everyone loves Roosevelt's motivational mantra: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. It adorns fridge magnets and keychains the world over. But it seems, there is one group of people who don’t appreciate this sentiment. In fact, they argue exemption from it. Yup, I’m talking about mothers. For a group of people who celebrate so passionately their prerogative of choice, it is bitterly ironic that mothers are keen to dispose of this belief when their emotions are involved. “Stop being judgemental, I should not be made to feel guilty” is their mating call. It’s so common that almost everyone takes heed, lest they be seen as a kind of evil Morton Downey Jr. Yet contrary to what some mothers and stand-up comedians may claim, women are not fragile simpering wallflowers at the mercy of iron-tongued tormentors. They are not passive pawns pushed around by the force of others’ words. The image of the female as a boiling pot of feelings, a puppet to her emotions, easily t...

Fathers like to think they wield great influence over the success of their partners’ breastfeeding efforts – and they do. But even daddy can’t hold a candle to the almighty impact of a mother’s female peers. Be they friends, family or medical professionals, women have an ability to engage with one another on an intuitive level that is unique to their gender. The female brain is empathy-inclined and wired to thrive on expressive interaction. Indeed, the intimacy found amongst females often baffles their male contemporaries. In ignorant or insincere hands however, feminine kinship can lead to unfortunate outcomes. The following story illustrates a potent and timely fact: just as female solidarity can facilitate breastfeeding, it can equally impede it. “I grew up not really thinking a whole lot about parenting; As a child I played with baby dolls of course, but I never really considered parenting styles or options of parenting. Without even realizing it, somehow the feminist culture of ou...

There is no need for a mother to stop breastfeeding if she returns to employment. A baby that is losing his mother’s presence need not lose her breast milk too. Just as the mother still has moral obligations to her baby, her employer has legal obligations to her. Choosing employment close to her baby or pumping milk while at work or requesting flexible hours are all options. Continuing to breastfeed will help to maintain the unique life-giving bond mom has created with her baby. You are about to read the story of a mother who returned to work full-time when her son was just seven weeks old. After the struggle she experienced to bring him into the world, she wasn’t going to let employment demands prevent her from giving him the milk he deserved. In her story, she provides handy hints on how to increase breastmilk supply and how to store and transport breast milk, as well as giving an honest account of the challenges. “On June 7th 2013 I marked one year of successful breastfeeding to my ...

Whilst indulging my inner bookworm at the local city library, I unwittingly stumbled upon a book written by a man called Geert Hofstede. Hofstede is an influential Dutch researcher well-known (in the social-psychology clique at least) for his research of cross-cultural groups and organizations. He played a major role in developing a framework for assessing and differentiating national cultures. Reading his jaw-dropping, hugely under-utilised trove of research has radically deepened my understanding of why we suck at breastfeeding in our society. It triggered an epiphany of sorts. And his book wasn’t even about breastfeeding! I have always known that our culture is hostile towards breastfeeding at worst, and apathetic at best. Who’s to blame for this? I had all the usual suspects lined up: capitalism, the patriarchy, rampant individualism, formula company greed. However maybe the net of blame is far, far broader than I ever imagined. Hofstede’s research revealed an interesting phenomeno...