Masochistic Mommy

If you’re been alive for the fast five or so years, you may have noticed something peculiar: the emergence of a new zeitgeist of contempt for breastfeeding. Even a cursory look at the lifestyle section of many online newspapers reveals a contemporary back-catalogue now groaning under the weight of the collective bitching of a vocal minority of failed breastfeeders. In this post I question the motives of these failed breastfeeders, let’s call them ‘formula apologists’ – the folk who make it their raison d'etre to criticise breastfeeding - that is, to criticise its promotion and its significance. You see, nobody comes immaculately to the infant feeding debate. Its discussion can never be abstract. As I discussed in the chapter of my book  aptly titled ‘Defensiveness’, the agenda of these people is not as transparent as they would hope. Ask yourself this question: by virtue of being failures, do these people really qualify as noted dispensers of feeding advice? Do they have the well-b...

Here’s something to rattle your cages: Another trio of anti-breastfeeding books disguised as ‘helpful parenting guides’.. Positive Pregnancy Denise Tiran At first, I was worried that "Positive Pregnancy" would actually be positive in some fashion. You know, helping women have the safest, healthiest, most fulfilling pregnancy and postpartum experience. Yet the only thing positive about this book, is that it has an end. Positive Pregnancy would have feminists gnawing at their fists. Got pregnancy backache? Piles? Heartburn? Sciatica? Well, this author thinks you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and spare a thought for the poor menfolk: "Some men can feel jealous of the baby growing inside you, or neglected if you do not feel well enough to satisfy their needs. It is extremely important to take steps to overcome this – try to find a compromise, talk about the situation and, if necessary, seek professional help. In most cases, if you are in a long term stable relation...

Earlier this month, Mark Zuckerberg hoist his white boxers onto a pole and waved them in defeat. He, and his fratboy team at Facebook HQ, finally conceded that breastfeeding wasn’t sexual . Good. Glad we sorted that out lads. Technology had, at last, given breastfeeding moms a high five. This was great timing, as I was about to launch a new breastfeeding cellphone app: an interactive version of The Timeline of a Breastfed Baby ! A dynamic on-the-go breastfeeding resource for busy moms who needed accessible support at their fingertips. The dudes at Google swiftly approved the app for their Android market. Thanks guys. Next stop – Apple. Now, Apple are notorious for being elitist pearl-clutching brand-guardians. Any company can create and submit an app to appear in their app store, but Apple has the ultimate say on which apps make it. The basics of the their vetting process boil down to a technical pre-application check of your binary, a review by an Apple employee along with revisions t...

Despite what her name may imply, Joan Wolf is not a children’s literary character. Disappointedly, she is an academic of Gender Studies at Texas A&M University. Her past works include ‘Harnessing the Holocaust: The Politics of Memory in France’ and ‘Conscience at War: The Israeli Soldier as Moral Critic’, which makes her perfectly suited to critiquing breastfeeding, no? At least her identity as wannabe historian is transparent. A lot of the ‘evidence’ in this monographic rant is courtesy circa 1930. Come on, even the title of this book is lazy and out of date. No one is asking that question anymore Wolf, get with the program! Is Breast Best? No! Breast is normal . Alternatives to the breast are deviations from the norm. Look at it this way, ‘Breast is Best’ is like saying drinking a glass of water through your mouth is best, over funnelling it into your belly button. A normal physiological act cannot be ‘best’ - it’s just freekin’ normal. Jeeez. I flick the face of anyone that clai...