Masochistic Mommy

I am often asked: Why do formula feeders frequent breastfeeding sites? Why do they trawl through breastfeeding-related discussions only to declare that the process made them feel guilty? Why would a grown adult put themselves in this situation, a situation which is clearly triggering? In this post, I’ll explain the reason behind this bizarre phenomenon. I'm talking about the green-eyed bitch: Envy: noun a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck ( Oxford English Dictionary 2013 ). In short, formula feeders specifically seek out pro-breastfeeding stimuli because they are envious, or should I say, defensive formula feeders do this. Extremes of envy are not universal amongst all formula feeders, rather, those partial to defensiveness are aptly prone to envy. In a previous post ' How to Spot a Defensive Formula Feeder ' I described the tendency of defensive formula feeders (DFFs) to actively seek out contact with br...

If you’re been alive for the fast five or so years, you may have noticed something peculiar: the emergence of a new zeitgeist of contempt for breastfeeding. Even a cursory look at the lifestyle section of many online newspapers reveals a contemporary back-catalogue now groaning under the weight of the collective bitching of a vocal minority of failed breastfeeders. In this post I question the motives of these failed breastfeeders, let’s call them ‘formula apologists’ – the folk who make it their raison d'etre to criticise breastfeeding - that is, to criticise its promotion and its significance. You see, nobody comes immaculately to the infant feeding debate. Its discussion can never be abstract. As I discussed in the chapter of my book  aptly titled ‘Defensiveness’, the agenda of these people is not as transparent as they would hope. Ask yourself this question: by virtue of being failures, do these people really qualify as noted dispensers of feeding advice? Do they have the well-b...

Despite what her name may imply, Joan Wolf is not a children’s literary character. Disappointedly, she is an academic of Gender Studies at Texas A&M University. Her past works include ‘Harnessing the Holocaust: The Politics of Memory in France’ and ‘Conscience at War: The Israeli Soldier as Moral Critic’, which makes her perfectly suited to critiquing breastfeeding, no? At least her identity as wannabe historian is transparent. A lot of the ‘evidence’ in this monographic rant is courtesy circa 1930. Come on, even the title of this book is lazy and out of date. No one is asking that question anymore Wolf, get with the program! Is Breast Best? No! Breast is normal . Alternatives to the breast are deviations from the norm. Look at it this way, ‘Breast is Best’ is like saying drinking a glass of water through your mouth is best, over funnelling it into your belly button. A normal physiological act cannot be ‘best’ - it’s just freekin’ normal. Jeeez. I flick the face of anyone that clai...

The Mommy Wars – the mythical battle to ascertain who has the biggest parenting-penis. It’s bloody, it’s gory, and it features a hella lot of faulty logic. Let's take a look at the 15 most common badly-thought-out tactics that mothers resort to in their fight for maternal supremacy. Trick #1 Ad hominem move This Latin phrase means ‘to the person’. It involves shifting attention from the point in question to some non-relevant aspect of the person making it. A common flavour of this approach is to question the speaker’s mental health. Attacking the character of the person with whom you are arguing rather than finding fault with his or her argument is a technique of rhetoric. As a debating strategy it is an epic fail because discrediting the source of the argument usually leaves the argument itself intact. Trick #2 Anecdotes Ahhhh the humble anecdote. The temptation to over-generalize on the basis of a potentially misleading particular experience seems to be irresistible in the Mommy ...

Recently, a topic was posted on The Alpha Parent forum, asking the question: “Do married parents make better parents?” Predictably, a tussle ensued between the pro-marriage lobby and the cohabitors' club. So, what’s all the fuss about? Marriage is just a piece of paper, right? Wrong! In this post I’m going to argue why married parents are better parents, dispelling a few myths along the way. Two caveats before we begin:  Firstly, I’m not going to discuss the merits of single parenting vs couple parenting. That topic has been done to death with the overwhelming majority of research showing that two parents are better than one. Secondly, I’m not going to bring religion into this, there’ll be no reference to God. This gives credence to the fact that both religious and non-religious people are partial to marriage. So, why are people getting their panties firmly lodged up their asscracks and feeling compelled to defend their marital status (or lack of), particularly with regard to chi...